Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood to Buy Dwarf Services for Daughter’s Wedding

I have no words.  From NME:

The Rolling Stones‘ Ronnie Wood is set to hire five dwarfs to perform at the forthcoming wedding of his daughter Leah Wood and TV producer Jack Macdonald.

According to The Sun the guitarist plans to hire the little fellas to dress up as elves and play humorous pranks on wedding guests. The plan is for the dwarves to leap out of bushes and steal ladies’ hats.

The newspaper quotes an anonymous source as saying: “They’re [Wood and his family] working on a theme based on the character of Puck – the cheeky sprite from Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’.

“The idea is to have little people in costumes popping up. It’s going to be a fabulous do with no expense spared, and the elves will make it even more fun.”

MP3: Mother’s Little Helper

MP3: Loving Cup (with Jack White, Shine a Light soundtrack)

MP3: Ben Folds Five-One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces

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Yahoo Music picks top 25 Guitar Riffs

View the whole list HERE, and download the top 3 below. One that strikes me as strange is The Beatles’ I Feel Fine. It is a great guitar part, but does it qualify as one of the greatest “riffs” ever? I’m afraid I don’t feel fine about that.  Their justification:

All said, I’d take “She Said, She Said” or “And Your Bird Can Sing,” but we’ll stick with the tunes that the band and their record company pushed on the public as hit singles. This one with its use of (gasp) feedback (were people conservative and corny back then or what?) and its string mangling complexity make you wonder why they bothered. I guess they wanted a challenge. This could’ve been a hit even without the difficult riff.

Top 3 riffs:

3. Purple Haze-Jimi Hendrix

2. (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction-The Rolling Stones

1. Smoke on the Water-Deep Purple

[NOTE: I think a number of White Stripes songs could've easily made this list, but none did.  My top contender: Blue Orchid.]

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Cloud Cuts

I’ve been airborne for about eight hours in the past week, and one of my favorite parts of flying is bursting through the clouds (or better yet, hovering right above them).  This experience has inspired the latest playlist, albeit a short one. The top seven “cloud” songs.  (Click on the word cloud in each for an mp3!). Top three songs are after the jump…

7. Air’s Clouds Up

6. Sting’s Heavy Cloud No Rain

5. Duke Ellington’s Clouds in My Heart

4. The Staples Singers’ Uncloudy Day

Scorsese to Shine a Light on The Dandy Warhols next?

Obviously not. But yesterday at the local café, I heard The Warhol’s “Bohemian Like You” come on over the speakers in the ceiling. Deep in conversation with my roommate, I was only half-listening at the time, and half-thought I was hearing the Stones’ “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” Then I realized which song it was, as the DW’s were a favorite of mine a few years back (think six años). So this morning, when “JJF” woke me up on iTunes alarm, I realized how similar the songs really are.

Both have an intro of about 15-20 seconds (drums on “BLY,” gee-tar on “JJF”) followed by a short but nifty drum fill leading into a strong march of a guitar riff. A guitar riff that, while not exactly identical, recalls one another enough to give intellectual copyright lawyers an erection. Disagree? Listen for yourself:

Buy The Dandy Warhols/MP3: Bohemian Like You

Buy The Rolling Stones/MP3: Jumpin’ Jack Flash

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M@M: The Rolling Stones and Bonnie Raitt-Shine a Light

In honor of the incredible movie I just saw…

I hope when I’m 50 or something old like that they rerelease this movie in imax theaters again.  I want to do that all over…

MP3: Shine a Light

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So now I try to score at the grocery store…

Though we’ve been busy carousing in NYC, the world of music still somehow manages to drive forward, producing some of the most exciting news in some time! A quick update of what we’ve missed while seeing Avenue Q, watching Arsenal play AC Milan at a sweet English pub in the East Village, watching a free taping of John Oliver’s Comedy Central stand-up premiere (check it out-very very funny!), and generally having a ball.

Atmos, follow with the phere tour: How can you not love these guys? First, a free album that resurrects James Brown and his soul brothers and challenges all of their previous work. Second, Slug gives us a little Valentine’s Day kiss by providing some loyal Onion readers to some sex advice. Finally, the dynasty duo have announced a North American tour, comprised mostly of two-night stands (these guys wouldn’t love you and leave you right away). And on the opening night: Chuck D and Brother Ali! I say to you, these guys are cruising along “like they don’t give a damn about the outcome.”

Tour Dates (c/o Pitchfork):

04-19 St. Paul, MN – Fitzgerald Theatre (Slug only) *
04-22 Chicago, IL – Metro
04-23 Chicago, IL – Metro
04-24 Toronto, Ontario – Opera House
04-26 Boston, MA – The Roxy
04-27 New York, NY – Webster Hall
04-29 Washington, DC – 9:30 Club
05-02 Austin, TX – Emo’s
05-03 Austin, TX – Emo’s
05-05 Phoenix, AZ – Marquis Theater
05-06 Los Angeles, CA – Henry Fonda Theatre
05-07 Los Angeles, CA – Henry Fonda Theatre
05-08 San Francisco, CA – The Regency
05-09 San Francisco, CA – The Regency
05-12 Portland, OR – Crystal Ballroom
05-13 Seattle, WA – Showbox
05-14 Vancouver, British Columbia – Commodore Ballroom
05-16 Salt Lake City, UT – In the Venue
05-17 Denver, CO – Ogden Theatre
05-18 Denver, CO – Ogden Theatre

MP3: Domestic Dog

ANOTHER TOUR: Silver-throated songstress Kate Nash has announced a HUGE North American tour. Check out her myspace page for dates. (BTW: Cat Power has also added some more dates to her tour.)

MP3: Seven Nation Army (White Stripes cover)

Last Action Hero: LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy is penning a new song for an action(?) movie, 21, about six kids from MIT who go to Vegas, with professor Kevin Spacey in tow, and attempt to count cards and make millions. I saw the preview a month or two ago, and the movie looked possibly worthwhile. The director of the film, whose previous works include Legally Blonde and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! is pretty young. Hopefully he uses Mr. Murphy’s music well.

MP3: Too Much Love

And finally, from our Is this really necessary? file: There are some older songs that seem really fun to remix: The Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive was fun. Elvis’ Viva Las Vegas and A Little Less Conversation are pretty fun to do this to. Or Mark Ronson’s remix of Dylan’s Most Likely You’ll Go Your Way was a perfect example of taking a great old song and spicing it up just a little bit to fit today’s radio playlist. But some songs just seem like they don’t need remixing, and for some reason, the Rolling Stones’ You Can’t Always Get What You Want seems to fit into this category. I haven’t listened, and refuse to, unless told by friends and colleagues that it is worthwhile. If you feel so inclined, listen. Then let me know.

MP3: She’s a Rainbow

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(Oh yeah, almost forgot! Stop back on Sunday or Monday to check out our review of THE ROOTS AT THE APOLLO THEATER, 11:00 pm show!)

Playlist: Numbers

What’s in a number? Obviously inspiration for many of the artists below. Enjoy the top five and two mp3s after the jump.

19: Rolling Stones‘ 19th Nervous Breakdown. Not any great “10″ songs, so why not jump up to this classic?

9: The Temptations‘ Cloud Nine. Sorry Damien Rice, neither the album nor the song cut it.

8: Tapes ‘n Tapes‘ Crazy Eights. This was possibly the hardest head-to-head pick I had to make between this rockin’ ditty and The Beatles’ Eight Days a Week.

7: Bob Dylan’s Seven Days. I knew he’d find his way on the list somehow. Off the Bootleg recordings.

6: Toots and the Maytalls‘ Six and Seven Books of Moses. Could knock off two numbers with this one song, but when we’re talking music lists, less is not more.

M@M: The Rolling Stones-Mr. Pitiful

At some time, we all wonder what life would be like to be somebody else.  Sometimes I’ve wondered what it would be like to be Cary Grant (a story to be published in the next week; get ready kiddos, this is a doozy).  Sometimes Karl Rove wishes he was running for the Republican nomination for President.  And sometimes, I’m guessing, Caroline Smith wishes she were Kate Nash.  Maybe?  In honor of Mr. Rove, enjoy the video by The Stones below, and check the Matt Costa mp3 below.  (I know it’s not a cover and shares no lyrical or musical quality, but he’s big right now, right?)